Do you remember the days you started working on getting over someone. How bout the days you thought you were over someone, but actually still really into them. Then the time came that you stop avoiding the truth and denying that something was not right.
Well, that happened to me recently. I originally thought it was my ex who was in love with me and couldn't let go, but then I recently realized it was I who couldn't let go. How embarassing.
The separation process or the process of not caring SO much is a process I don't expect to come easily, but I realize it's something I have to do for us to remain friends. It's tough when you realize that you have been the villain when you thought you were the hero. That you've been forcing someone to act a certain way, even feel guilty for habits that come natural to them. All to keep the thought that they are who you think they are or wish them to be.
My heart is so heavy and guilty for doing these things to someone I care about so much. Not to mention how surprised I am with my behavior. At least she still cares about me and we don't hate each other. In the future she will discover her true soul and nature. She will "grow up" as we both refer to it... but at least she will be herself. I may find it attractive or not, that's for the future to decide. What I know NOW is that we will always be friends who love each other regardless of what happens.
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